"Newly wed bride found dead in her room."
"8 year old raped. Culprit roams free."
"20 year old dies of marital rape."
"Woman tortured and paraded naked in the village."
Do you read something like this regularly in the papers?? Or may be a variation of this??
If you are living in the Indian subcontinent you are probably too used to it. I mean, like from the time that you have been able to understand the world around you, news like these have been pouring in. Same here. But, somehow I never got used to it. Don't know what is it that drives me wild when I listen to stuff like this. It always makes me ask as to why is the society nothing but a bunch of hypocrites masquerading as civilized people? I mean, like, the ancient scriptures say so many things exalting the status of a woman, but how much of it does the society really follow?? huh?? Zilch!! Nothing, I say. And if the so called holy books say that a woman can't perform the holy rituals, I say junk it!! I have heard of this temple where women are not allowed?? Why?????????? Why such double standards??????
Dowry, Sati, Child Marriage..... the list I suppose is endless!! These practices are still prevalent in India. And mind you, it's not only the uneducated class, but also the so called educated elite people who can be found guilty of the same crime. Surprised?? Don't be. That's the naked truth. Quite often I have come across something like, a marriage getting called off out of the blue because the bride's family couldn't satisfy the groom's demands. or may be they accept the girl into their fold but then torment her for her family didn't pay enough dowry. That's gross!! Oh... you wanna know the results of such torture??? Let me put it bluntly......... DEATH.... by poison, by burns, by suicide.... name it and you will get it.... check the annals of dowry deaths!!
God knows how many women are subjected to sexual harassment, from the mildest form to the most heinous acts...... how many of the culprits actually are brought to book? Even if nabbed, how many are actually punished??? Just a few?? They say things are changing may be they are, but the count still remains alarmingly high!!
Oh!! I can't write enough on this matter... so may be I'll break things into different posts...... but would like to highlight certain things:
- 21 yr old girl married off to a man 14 years older to her. The fellow is a drunkard and tormented the girl beyond imagination. The girl spent night after night awake just so that she can cater to his whims and fancies else, there might be hell to pay. And they said he was an eligible bachelor??? I wonder!! The girl fought back..... She's undergoing her divorce proceedings now. Her painful stay with him lasted for about 45 days..... Supported by her friends and family she now lives a life where she knows how to smile and enjoy!!
- Check out this post by fellow blogger Cuckoo "Whose Gain, at What Cost - I"
- Cuckoo again "Whose Gain, At What Cost - II"
- Check out this link of domestic violence on women in India "Domestic Violence"
- Sample this poem Aurat by Adi from Delhi . The bitter pill..... hard to swallow, but it must be taken!! Take it!!
In the end can someone defy this statement by a girl repenting the sad state of affairs for women in India:
"I guess, God is definitely male. That's why all the pleasures are for men, and the pains are for women."
The truth in this statement leaves me speechless........... Numb!!
Uncomfortably Numb!!
14 comments:
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u wanna say something???
Hi Sam,
Thanks for mentioning my posts.
I just don't know how to react on these issues. My blood starts boiling. I have many such real life cases which I have come across but I don't think I would be able to pen down all of them. I become utterly uncomfortable.
Having said that, I still want to be born as a female child... Again & again & again..
actually i want to do exactly wat mueja did back there namesake. frankly this article is ..erm...brutally naked. facts we all know but rather shut up about.
as a woman i know these things happen and yes what u said and stated in the beginin of your post is soo very true. toture to women have always existed only many werent highlighted the way they are now. marital rapes were the most common aspect a woman..no actually a girl went through. but you know what.
about that last bit about god being man because the pleasures are for men. frankly those lines are not completly correct. things are changing buddy. things and attitudes towards women..hell look at yourself. your a man. and well there are a lot of such males i have met who have startd respecting women.
women werent ill treated in the golden period..the time wen the "mother" was god's incarnation. these "myths" now were hard core truths then. but yes society did go corrupt and none questioned it.
today the youth has started to question so things are changing. it is slow yes but there are changes that are occuring.
in short i completly agree with your article only somehow the last bit..i dunno i dont quite agree to that. its a simple way to push blame from yourself to the almighty jst because your uncomfertable about the raw truth.
ohk i want to add some last few things. they are... yet rnt related... and yet i wanted to put this across. yes a woman suffers but do you realise how strong a woman is?? the power of her endurance??
here is an eg.
when a woman is gangraped she dies mentally. but there was a case of a man being gangraped by women the guys death was an aftermath of that.
i duno why i said this but i just felt that i shud mention this
and a second thing. i personally feel ...heck i mean i am sure many feel strongly about this issue of rape...have you ever thot of what could b a suitable punishmnt?? ....i have....i think the best suited punishment for such a crime would be castration..unfortunatly as it is a male dominated society..such a punishment would be a distant dream..but i think it is the most apt as this alone could equate the lifelong pain a woman suffers post the crime. and make the male society think many times over on this issue as the criminals would b seen suffring everyday right b4 their eyes.
@cuckoo: abt a female, somehow makes me think dat theirs is a role of immense responsiblity and respect.... wonder wen ppl wud actualy realise dat!!
@aashi: agreed dat its changing!! but the pace is too slow!! i may think different... but there r 20 fo r1 lyk me, who are still into teh ancient way of thinkins... and their r some who r caught in between......
yes sam, thanks for mentioning the post. but i do think it is upto all of us to make a difference. it is us who have created this world, and it'll only be us, who'll change it for better.
really this article leaves u with so many questions. A woman is born equal but things take a u turn after the birth. the atrocities on women have continued since time immemorial and the upanishads also speak loads upholding the dignity of a woman but when it comes to actual practice everything emains silent.
the biggest democracy of the world is a disappointment at the homefront...
@adi: you are right.. its small brick which make teh wall.. and teh great wall of china wasn't made overnight!!
so every effort counts!!
@arti: thequestions remain... towards our social fabric.. but can we not make a difference? we can.. by showing respect to ladies and humanity.. dats how we can start.. we will educate those around us.... spread the word... teach our kids... our grand kids...
its a disease, which as set in over centuries.. but we have to battle it out and see it to its end!!
hey sam..u write awesome man...of all the ones i read...i liked this one the most...but still i slightly disagree with you...yaa wat u mentioned is true..but winds of change have swept in our society...
u mentioned about newsapers...in those very newspapers i also read young married girls ... filing fake dowry cases to harass and control thier in laws..there is great lot of debate going on about the dowry laws and way its being misused...
Also now evn old ones..the elderly conservative people...have begin accpeting....the chnge in the status..now i observe less cribbing about girls in the house wearing western clothes...or girls going out for jobs...sumthing few years ago...was very much resented,,,
Also look at the way women have chnged themselves...they re smarter thn before...u cant expect wives today just means of sexual pleasure...or anything like tht..they re more indepndent...and more stronger thn woman of earlier genrations...
But yes,,,forced prostitution and rape...re the 2 main curses on women...which i strongly resent...
Thanx for an eye-opener write up sam
keep up the great work
God bless you
hey tushar.... glad to see u here!! well... the I agree that things are changing.. and at a more rapid pace than before.... yet.... hehe... you knw wot i wanna say!!
and as far the ladies turn to play devil goes.. trust me i knw abt it a lot.... have faced it to be honest!! the laws are loaded in their favour.. and not thanks to the mentality that only men can perpetrate crime on women.... wen it happens teh other way around.. no one believes it!! amazing isn't it??
The root cause is our pre-programmed mindset, and more funnily enough today in a lounge you would find 20 ppl accepting dat.... and let them across oen such live case.. and you'd see some great hypocrites and turncoats!! Can't figure out at times..exactly where lies the problem!!
Sammy bro,
I've been noticing a lot of these posts on blogs recently and I am glad somebody is doing something about it. I though suspect, and its only my opinion that this post isn't written from a perfectly neutral point of view. I am sorry but this post does seem a bit sexist to me. Whatever "Tushar" mentions needs to get into the post too I guess. That makes it a valid neutral discussion.
Just as I am glad that women's rights are being demanded and pushed forth in every corner of society, the same is being neglected for the male populace. I was particularly mad when I couldn't get an engineering seat due to a newly introduced women's quote in addition to the existing one. I thought it was totally unjustified as I saw girls scoring much less than me getting very good seats in very good colleges. Now the sad part is that society gives women the choice to work or stay at home but men do not get any such choices. I saw one of my brilliant friends spend two years earning Rs. 3500 a month because he couldn't get an engineering seat. I am sure he would have got a seat if there were no quotas for women and he would have made very very good use of it.
The situation worsens when a large number of women who got these coveted higher education seats gave up their jobs after marriage and turned to being home-makers. Don't you think that is wrong? Some other person, male or female who really wanted the degree to make complete use of it could not do so due to this.
I just wrote on another post on this blog that I am all for political correctness and equal rights for women as long as it is logically possible and the equal rights are equal in all sense.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
hey GuNs,
you got a valid point.. and frankly it calls for a different post altogether, coz thebare baked truth is that the the society's fabric designed ins uch cases was done by a jerk else a pro feminsit who simply hated men!! and frankly, i'm not touching that issue, coz maybe I'm afraid I'd spew too much venom!!
Aah, you are probably right there mate but I just don't like it when women seem to cry hoarse about inequality when they lick their lips and enjoy it when it is beneficial to them (as in the case of reservations).
I would believe a difference in the way society portrays men and women is very much due to the physical and mental nature of both genders which is extremely different. I don't believe there is any harm in claiming men are better at some jobs than women but only when you agree also to the fact that in some other cases women are better and in yet some more cases, both genders are equal. To say both genders are absolutely the same is not only a stupid statement but also an illogical ideal to follow which will result in biased laws being created.
I wish more feminists thought logically and agreed that neither of the genders are replaceable and both need to exist and take upon different jobs, duties and responsibilities in a society. In Utopia, both genders would have the choice to select their own role i.e. women can decide whether they want to work and men can decide whether they want to stay at home and take care of the kids. Sadly in today's society, the trend is so skewed against men that any man staying at home is immediately deemed to be a loser and not capable of supporting a family. Though I am not a legal expert but I suspect a man not having a job can count as grounds for his wife to divorce him. Talk about fair !
With due respect to your literary skills, I would sure have appreciated this article a lot more if it carried even one single line justifying this point of view.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
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