Curse me....... I am crippled!!

Many a times I have tried to imagine the anguish the crippled have to go through in their life. I mean, are they ridiculed?? Are they always sympathised or is it that they are always protected?? How does it become different if the crippled one is a boy or a girl?? I have wondered a lot. Never knew anyone like that. But recently read about one such girl. As Cuckoo in an earlier post had promised me about it, she wrote about this friend of hers Indu: This is her story. And that forces me to vent out my anger here.... yes am angry - at fate, at her parents, at the society, at... god knows what.. but i guess everything that makes life for such people a hell!!

"Hello reader, I am the crippled girl. Umm... can't place me?? Doesn't matter. I'm used to being ignored. You see I was born normal, but then nature struck and I was crippled for life. I have been trying to study you know, but my family rarely helps in that. I always get hand down books, not that I mind, just that why never a new one?? I have always worn the cheapest of dress you'll ever find. Not that I mind, but can I have a nice dress for birthday please?? I really want to look as pretty as the other girls in class. Just one that's all!!

Oh!! There's Tom and Jerry on television, but I never get to watch it... unless someone else is watching it. By the way, can i have that sweet please Daddy?? Sister had it yesterday. No you may not. I'm not wasting money on you. You see that's how my Dad treated me..... my mother was no better. It was years before she acknowledged the fact that I'm developing into the woman and need more than just a cloth. I was never taken out to parties..... always saw pictures of my family smiling away at some wedding or some luncheon..... I was never there. Did I ever exist for them?? Or was I ghost in my own house?? Frankly I don't know, nor would I ever find out.

Friends... ummm........... now that's a rare thing you know. Even if someone tried to be my friend my sibling would ridicule them so much, for fear of their own social image they would disown me as if I were a disease. Not that I really did mind that, but I could have done with a true friend, who would care for me, wipe my unshed tears, me the source of my strength!!

Anyway, I struggled through college.... went to the most decrepit one for my parents refused to pay more, though I made it to the best in the city on merit. Is being meritorious wrong?? I thought it was OK... they are my parents and have the best interest in mind... and I was used to have my dreams squashed, you know. But I knew how to smile!! Oh yes.. I smiled!!

And then I met him..... The one person, who loved me for what I am. Life seemed perfect. I believed I could fly now. I was on cloud nine. But, reality has a way of catching up with you. His parents met me one day.... and I was rejected and asked to get out of his forever... for I was crippled. I never told my family about him. And he is now history married to a beautiful girl and has a happy family.

My parents decided to get me married. He was a nice man, just a widower, and 14 years older to me. Not much of a problem with him except a drunkard at night. Was a man of great social standing and moral ethics, but just asked for a dowry of 20 lacs. My parents adored him for he had agreed to marry me..... their crippled daughter. I wasn't sure... am i supposed to be happy?? Or should I be sad, for my dream guy never turned up?? Or by being a cripple I had to forfeit all rights for having normal dreams and aspirations?? I don't know. And guess I was beyond the point of caring. I took my vows.

Life after marriage was bliss. I never realised when I ended up with a swollen eye, or a cut lip?? Oh never quite realised the day I lost my virginity. Was it supposed to be pleasurable or just pain?? Never mind... I am not normal!! And then I became a mother...... But then i never heard my baby cry.... For now I can only see.... But cannot breathe... cannot feel. I can only tell you my story..... but I wonder if you can hear it!! I can cry now......... But can you see it!! It's now that my angst wants to seep out and say.................. Curse me........ I am crippled!!"

The account is written from a female's perspective because may be I am still under the effect that Indu's story ahd on me. But this can be true for guy too........ Is being crippled a crime?? Do you have to forfeit your right to lead a normal life??